Gore Peace Prize Stolen by Bush Inc.

Hans W. Bush, a cousin of the Resident, has pulled a few strings, and it appears that the Nobel Peace Prize is now going to go to George W. Bush, kleptomaniac -- who now insists on being called "The Prince of Peace".

When asked what he was going to do with the prize, Mr. Bush said he would like to use it as a pretext to go to war with Iran, Syria, Turkey, Blogistan, Amsterdam, and Paris. Maybe Atlantis. "But first, i think I need to clear some tumbleweeds back in Crawford. Let my brain rest a bit. Peace is hard work. Hard." And when asked what the future might bring, Bush said that he was still hoping for Baseball Commissioner.

Back at CurrentTV headquarters, Al Gore is fending off rumours that he was trying to steal the coveted prize from Bush, and an ad hoc panel of impartial Floridians told Frank Luntz that Gore should just move on. "If Bush has the prize, it's obvious he won it!", said one of the pathetic fascists.

When asked if he thought that Bush deserved to award, he candidly revealed that he thought it was actually going to go to John Edwards for his work at ending poverty around the world.

Asked about this comment, and what he thought about Bush's amazing victory, he said "the system is rigged", and then went on to say that he has learned his lesson, and that he will not be chided into allowing Bush to hi-jack reality yet again. "This BushWorld fantasy has got to end."
Besides, Edwards said, today is Iddybud's birthday, and the law of synchronicity favors a Gore victory, as that was what the great blogmeistress had stated as her desired birthday gift...and she is in harmony with the Tao.

I'm sure scientists will be debating these results for decades, maybe centuries. History is, alas, the final fiction.

Lesson 1: Nothing lasts forever.
Lesson 2: Carpe millennium.